It’s been months (or more than a year?) since I last posted an entry about issues with my heart. It was actually my intention to refrain from writing such posts to save myself from giving out too much information about my personal issues in life. Haha! But tonight, something urged me to write this one.
Today was actually one of those days I was reminded of how to deal with a broken heart.
I had my heart broken not just once, nor twice. In fact, I pretty much had a LOT of heartaches and yet I’m only 24 years old. I’m writing this not because I am proud of the mistakes and failures I have done in the past. I’m writing this to assure you that God is real and that He can heal your wounded heart no matter how broken you think it is.
Remember the very first day of your break-up? The first day you realized the truth that you guys are really never getting back together? The very first day you felt everything changed? Or probably the very first day you realized that you have been cheated? Think about those moments in your life. Do you remember how hard it is to go back to your normal everyday routine after he/she left you? All those sleepless crying nights, those martyr moments and even those “I-just-want-to-die” scenes?
I had my own share of those experiences. And yes, it has been my worst nightmare.
You can actually read my first posts in this blog, which I have written during those times I was dealing with my most painful heartbreak experience. I can also show you my break-up journals where I used to write everything I feel since Day 1 up to Day 150+ (I eventually stopped, thank God!). In fact, If I were to write the whole story, it would probably be the most difficult and painful piece of writing I’ll ever make. I cried almost every day. I wanted to die. I was hopeless. I even moved away for a couple of months because I can’t take it anymore. I had to come up with several excuses when people ask me why I decided to leave Manila. It was difficult. And because nobody knows the real reason why I went there, I had to keep everything to myself. I wanted to pause my life until I can say that I’m back on my feet again. I lost contact with friends. I wanted to keep on running away because I can’t let them see what have become of me just because of a broken heart.
“Buti pa nga yung physical pain diba, kaya madaan sa gamot para mawala yung sakit. Pero pag puso, hindi ganun kadali makahanap ng pain reliever na magttake effect agad in less than an hour.”
Some people have no idea what it feels like to be in our place. They say “everything’s going to be fine” yet you feel that nothing will ever make it feel alright. It would really take “time” for you to be fine. It could take months or even years. The healing process would never be easy, but let me assure you (as someone who have also experienced what you are going through) that in God’s perfect timing, everything will be alright.
Now, what should you do when dealing with a broken heart? I can only advice one thing: DRAW STRENGTH FROM GOD. Find comfort in Him and not in other people. Seek happiness in Him and not in the temporary things the world offers. It’s a very big mistake I have always done in the past. I depended on people instead on Him. Everytime I will feel lonely and disappointed, I used to look for people who can fill in my need for comfort. I surrounded myself with so many people not giving enough room for Him – for God. In the end, I only suffered more. This verse never fails to remind me the reason why I should learn to anchor my identity in God alone and not on other people like what I used to do before:
God is not like people, who lie; He is not human who changes his mind. Whatever He promises, He does; He speaks and it is done. (Numbers 23:19)
God loves you and has a wonderful plan for you. But that would only happen if you will allow Him to take control. Allow Him to work within you. Choose to surrender. A broken heart will remain broken unless you give ALL the pieces to God, and by that I mean your whole heart and not just portions of it. You can be assured that He will not just patch up the pieces but will give you a new one in His perfect time. Find people who can help you in your walk with God as you allow Him to heal your heart. Someday soon, you’ll be able to say that indeed, the best remedy for a broken heart is only found in Him.
For now, just embrace the pain and allow God to embrace you with His love.
** This entry is just a proof of how God turned something broken into something beautiful. I wrote this not because I’m already in a new relationship, which you might think is the reason why I now have the guts to say all of these. Haha! It’s just that God has been filling my heart with so much joy and it overflows. I never imagined that I will experience this joy after all the tears and pain. Truly, God is enough!