What’s Behind the “So, Sino Ang Mag-Aadjust?”

When Darel and I learned that we are the ones assigned with the workshop about singleness and being in a relationship for the SYNC Camp, our initial reaction was this:

D: “Hihihi. Excited na ako.”
R: “Hmm.. Steads lang.”

Apparently, he was excited and I wasn’t. Grabe, oo na KJ na. Haha. For some reason, I can’t help but to question if we are even qualified to do a talk about such topic. Isn’t it supposed to be conducted by those who are already married? Why us? We haven’t even done any talk together or individually prior to this. May makikinig kaya samin? But then, we had to stick to the Curriculum plans and start preparing.

Two weeks before SYNC camp, while drafting the topics we want to be covered, we got stuck on how to communicate that this workshop isn’t intended only for those who are in a relationship but mostly to those who are still single. That’s why we had to come up with a title that’s witty enough to summarize what we want to achieve. Hence the “So, Sino ang Mag-Aadjust?”

Choosing the topics we want to discuss was quite challenging. If only there were enough seminars in the past about “singleness” that isn’t just talking mainly about sex and relationships, and marriage prep, I guess it wouldn’t be so hard. We would have an idea on how to conduct such. (Btw, the recent seminar we’ve attended together was a pre-marriage one. Haha.) That’s why we decided, “Why not just pull off the topics based on our own experiences, questions, struggles and how God worked in our individual lives as a single man and woman? (because technically, everyone is considered still single unless you are already married)”.

Photo by Myra Bansale

The second run of this “So, Sino Ang Mag-Aadjust” happened last Sunday (September 17, 2017).. There are still A LOT of things we wish we have shared during the workshop but we tried to cover everything in 2 hours. That’s why I’m thinking of maybe (JUST MAYBE) sharing more about it here in my blog. I have here the 3 main points we talked about and the subtopics in it.

1. Accept This Season
2. Avoid Unnecessary Emotional Attachment
3. Be Involved In a Community
4. Establish Your Worth

1. Do It Right
2. Know Your Roles

1. Marriage Goals
2. God’s Design

Okay. For the meantime, what’s the point of this particular blog post? Well, aside from I really make it a point to write about memorable moments of my life here in my blog, we (yes, involved si Darel dito haha) want to share how it’s like doing something like this together for the first time.

I was never a fan of group projects. I prefer individual requirements because most of the time, those supposed group projects just end up feeling like I’m working solo. But with Darel’s case, mukhang enjoy nya yung group projects eh. Hahaha. :p

Like what I said, it was the first time we had to work on something like this together. And indeed, when you’re a couple, learning new things about each other never stops. Through this, we both discovered more about our individual strengths and weaknesses, and of how our working styles vary. Coming up with the activities, agreeing on topic assignments and even while doing the power point, it felt like we have reached another milestone in our relationship. Pwede na siguro kaming groupmates forever? Hahahaha!!

During the 2nd night of SYNC, Darel and I had a little conflict. It’s almost midnight, we’ll be conducting the workshop (for the first time) the next day, and none of us is making the first move to patch things up. The question stirred from “Sino mag-aadjust?” to “Ako ba dapat mag-adjust?”, and eventually (thankfully) turned into “Sige, ako na mag-aadjust.” It was almost impossible to keep calm and composed during that time but I am thankful that God allowed us just let things go for the meantime (we talked about it after the camp) so we can rest and focus on the task at hand.

My fear of not being credible enough to do such talk was replaced by overwhelming joy, during and after the workshop. Realizing that we’re only few steps ahead of the majority of the crowd, in terms of age and relationship status, I found it easier to connect with the audience. Like for example, everything they mentioned about what “dating” is like for them nowadays is not really foreign to me because I have tried it myself, I have experienced it, and it’s totally something I can relate to.

The amount of positive response from people was just so amazing to the point that some of them are even sending us private messages, telling us how the talk have helped them, inspired them and of how timely this kind of workshop is.

I would also like to thank our friends who showed their support by their presence and active participation in the activities. Hahaha!

We had a lot of God moments in this experience, meaning, we have truly felt that God worked things out despite the many negative things that happened. Two hours before the event last Sunday, we were in the middle of a fight. Again. Haha. It was all because of pressure, miscommunication, and other factors which made us both a bit emotional and caused that major fight. But God intervened and helped us settle the misunderstanding. After that, we were amazed by the number of attendees. That alone is a major God moment. From a group of 25 people last SYNC Camp, we found ourselves speaking to almost a hundred young adults. Another is the technical problem solved just in time before we start. Lastly, it was also only by God’s grace that I was able to do my part as I was battling with a headache in that whole 2 hours.

What I’m trying to say here is that we acknowledge that it was God who made it all possible. Even though we have done our best efforts to make sure that it all goes well according to our plans, God is always full of surprises. We consider it as a gift, and we are thankful.

When I asked Darel how he felt surviving the 2nd run of the workshop (with almost 100 people in the room haha!), he told me that he was blessed but at the same time, he feels unworthy.

Like what we always mention, Darel and I are not perfect. It doesn’t mean that because we are the ones talking about these things, we are the #couplegoals. We have learned a lot over the years and we would like to tell you that we are still learning (not only from each other but also from those people who are a step ahead of us). And that’s what we want to share. That if only we have known about these things sooner, we could’ve saved ourselves from all our individual mistakes and pain in the past.

It was a humbling experience. Never in my life I have imagined myself talking about these things, exposing my mistakes, my thoughts, or my life in general. That goes the same for Darel. It made us realize that indeed, God can enable ordinary, broken, and sinful people to be used for His glory.

Our desire is not for you to follow our footsteps as a single man and woman, nor as two persons who are in a romantic relationship. What we want for you is to follow the one whom we are following, and that is Jesus.

We hope that this “So, Sino Ang Mag-Aadjust” will continuously be a big help to everyone who’s asking how to enjoy and make the most out of their singleness, so that when the next season comes, we’ll all have an idea on what to expect and how to respond. :)

**Featured photo by James Lontoc

Watch the highlights of what happened last Sunday in this video:

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