Just yesterday, I celebrated my 6th year of using WordPress, and last night I was trying to reflect on how my blog posts have changed over the years. As you may have noticed, I’m really into editing and posting videos lately because for the longest time that I’ve been keeping random video clips (yes, I have ones dated way back 2007), it’s actually just now that I decided to do something about it aside from allowing it to just take up too much space in my hard drive. But I guess I kind of miss how I used to write about the normal random things that’s happening in my life. You know, the “diary” type of thing. This year, maybe I can start fresh and go back to it.
So what is up?
Well, the past weeks were all about filling up my schedule with all the wedding planning thing. Ganito pala ‘pag magpapa-kasal… magastos. HAHAHA. Things were pretty stressful when Darel and I kicked-off the whole planning process because I have no idea where and how to start. Like can somebody give me a cheat sheet for this? Haha! Siguro if there’s one thing I’ve been learning over the past couple of weeks, it would be the fact that I really still have issues when it comes to my self-sufficiency vs. making room for God to work and show His faithfulness. My control-freak button seems to be always turned on and I’m having a hard time trusting God on the things that I cannot see or decide for the meantime. I remember last December, as I write down the things that I’m committing to pray for this year, I said to myself that more than the feeling of being joyful for accomplishing all the wedding preps and having a wonderful wedding day (hopefully), I’d like for us (Darel and I) to also be able to have that sense of wonder for how God will reveal Himself to us during this whole preparation phase. Pero honestly, mahirap eh. Especially when I become unaware that I don’t allow myself na pala to see how God will work things out for us in this season of our lives. It’s so easy to be overwhelmed and just be stressed out.
I am writing this because it’s my way of organizing my cluttered thoughts. I took a break from wedding related stuff today and just went on with my normal routine because I was also reminded that your personal life doesn’t have to stop when you start planning for your big day — the day that the two of you will come together and become one (it also doesn’t stop after that either). You still need to continue to grow as an individual because that’s what you’re bringing into marriage.
I know there’s still a lot to learn in the next months to come, and I can’t wait to share it here not because I just want people to know about it, but mainly because I want to keep all the learning and realization as a souvenir; something that I could go back to and serve as a reminder for myself in the future.