My writing style have changed over the years. Just to give you a little back story, I started keeping a blog since 2004 . I started in Blogger but eventually decided to stick to WordPress last 2012. I still have some of the old blogs but I decided to keep it private because most entries were so random and useless, it makes me want to cringe. But anyway, just thinking about it, I kinda miss it though; writing on a very personal level, and just being transparent about my thoughts and ideas. I am struggling to do that nowadays.
Ever since the hype of social media came, (for me it was the year 2013 when I finally joined the Instagram bandwagon) it caused a big change in my blogging life, because it became more convenient to just snap and post. I have lost the actual blogging process — the time when I could really sit down, and think, and write. I remember back in the days when the internet wasn’t as accessible like what we have today, I would write in my journal or in any piece of paper first before going online at 12mn and transfer everything in my blog. Why? Eh kasi libre ang surf hours ng madaling araw. Thanks to ISP Bonanza internet card. HAHAHA. I hope you get what I mean. I wish I could take back the times I was lazy about writing and opted to just compensate it by putting all my thoughts in photo captions. Kaya siguro kinalawang na rin, kasi yung mga bagay na pwede ko pa sana pag-isipan at pagmuni-munihan, nawala na, all because it’s more convenient to just put it out there in a snap, instead of spending hours trying to organize everything in one blog entry.
My blog used to be my sanctuary. Every time I would feel overwhelmed by what’s happening in my life in the real world, I would temporarily disconnect from it, write, and just publish it online. It used to be my safe place because not everyone have access to internet back then. There’s that freedom that somehow goes along with it. Ngayon kasi baligtad na. Nowadays, whenever I would feel overwhelmed by the things I see and read online, I need to literally disconnect from social media and just have a detox, which I admit is kinda hard to do. On top of that, I seem to have also lost myself with the pressure of what my content should be. Yung blog ko halo-halo eh. I post whatever comes to mind. Pero minsan it’s so easy to give in to what the world is dictating because that’s what will give you the spotlight. Sometimes I post entries thinking na that’s what people want to read. But now I am asking myself, since when did I ever write for people? I used to write for myself. It’s my outlet. It’s how I organize my thoughts. Gustong gusto ko binabalikan yung mga sinulat ko before and just see how much I’ve grown as a person over the years. And I cannot achieve that when I write for other people. Pero in all honesty, masaya yung pakiramdam na people are actually reading your blog. Kaya ayun nga, minsan I get lost with that temporary joy, not realizing that I am forgetting the real purpose of why I started doing this.
Remember the pink book I once shared in this blog? It’s a compilation of everything I have written since year 2007 (I regret deleting my 2004-2006 blog) up to year 2012. Yes, five years worth of writing. Gusto ko ulit gawin yun eh. Pero how can I do that when I no longer write for myself? I’ve been thinking about it for quite a while, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do right now. I want to fight hard to keep on writing. To go back to how it was for me 14 years ago and just be thankful for people who will stumble upon this blog. I’m opening my eyes from the effect of social media on this part of my life, and I’m thinking, maybe we should all do that. Let’s examine ourselves and see the positive and negative things this “convenience” have caused in our lives. I don’t want to forget who I am and drown in the ways of the world today.
When I did a talk about Blogging last December 2017 to a class of Mass Communication students in FEU, I was asked with the question, “How personal are you willing to go with the things you share in your blog?”. Sa totoo lang, ang dali sabihin na, “This is my blog. I can share whatever I want. Period.”, but I remember pointing out the importance of knowing your values. You need to have some sort of a guide in life because that will dictate the “whys” of everything you choose to do. For me, that’s the Bible – the word of God. There’s this verse in 1 Corinthians 10:23 which says, “We are allowed to do anything,” so they say. That is true, but not everything is good. “We are allowed to do anything” – but not everything is helpful.” You might ask, how do we know which is good and which is helpful? Well, that’s when we go back again to the Word. So if I have to go as deep as sharing about my failures and triumphs in my life, I will do it as long as I live to inspire and bring back all the glory to the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ.